Everything is back to normal I'm starting to feel better again and everything is awesome! My course kicks ass and i'm going to america in the summer to work in the summer camps with my best mates - so yeah CAN'T WAIT for that XXD!!!!!

hate to use this quote but this is how i've started to feel...

"Time passes. Even when it seems impossible. Even when each tick of the second hand aches like the pulse of blood behind a bruise. It passes unevenly, in strange lurches and dragging lulls, but pass it does. Even for me."

yeah; so not to end on a bad note, here's a rap hot of the press to help me express

It takes a lot to handle me this i understand
but i'm never bland the reward is grand
if you just listen you'll see my potential
i have negative points but i guess they're essential
electricity; fusion through my brain
as i write another line, two never the same
and again i'll bust it but never refrain
hold back, regret cause I bet i did it best
contest? don't suggest that i'm stressed i'm just blessed
you can't digest this protest and i've got you possessed
not depressed.
not anymore - i'm not that way, the way i was before
you denied my rapport, but i know now i'm sure
i know what's in store - for me there's much more
than you.
and i thought you'd be here but i guess i can't undo
the way in which you think and my mind with which you screw
guess this is a friendship that i can't renew
the bonds are broken and i'm screaming "I told you!"
this self sabotage i repeat like a movie
someone kill the director melt him into a smoothie
cause i'm now being myself and i know my wealth
no-one's directing; so put me on the shelf
but like jay sean i won't be feeling down
gone under before; but now i hear the sound
of me feeling, believing, i know i can do this
healing, your kneeling, and i know i'll get through this
wish you'd talk to me but i'm not gonna grovel
we went back so far i could write a novel
digging my own grave someone pass the shovel
might as well live alone, own personal hovel
gonna stop this rap before it becomes an essay
i now see the bigger picture, a bigger display
to your disarray sorry i won't obey
as it comes...is how i'll take everyday